Jim Thorpe, PA                 August 2014

 

"I'm so bored by those ice buckets", explains the scuffed and slightly shattered rider. "And I don't even know anyone named Lou."

 

Yesterday, Cat4 sensation Paul Orsulak started a new trend that he hopes will draw attention to the fact that automobiles can hurt you. "I was motoring down Broad Street in Jim Thorpe when this old lady pulled out 3 feet in front of me. I knew I had two choices: slam into the back of a Cadillac and through the rear windshield, or lay the bike over and crash into the rear wheels. I chose option 2."

 

That's right kids, Paul is so Zen that he managed an internal debate while falling and made what appears to be a decent decision. His bike is fine. Orsulak suffered a fractured cheek, fractured pelvis, road rash and a cracked rib. But his bike is OK.

 

Sometimes we hear about rider-car entanglements and tend to think everybody hates cyclist. This just isn't true. "I was surprised by all the good people who helped me," explains Orsulak, "especially the stoner kid who was working at the 5-and-10. He helped me clean up and call the cops."

 

"The old lady came out screaming. She thought I was dead. But the stoner kid was hilarious. The store owner sent him out with a spray bottle of 409 to clean the blood off the sidewalk. I had to point out that the 'blood' was actually paint and he was like 'Dude, I was gonna say...that's some thick-ass blood."

 

Don't expect Paul to 'call-out' other riders for this challenge."There's no video, so I guess it won't go viral.", muses the battered biker. But things are looking good for cyclists, at least in Jim Thorpe. "When the cops arrived, they cited the driver and made it clear that it was her fault."

 

Paul is looking forward banging hard on the cyclocross circuit this fall. He dismissed his injuries as "not much of a problem" and plans to "just manage the pain. All eyes on cross for me."